‘Illuminati John’ Calls Back With New Information!
Once again, a Fusion Laced Illusions investigator has received a call from ‘Illuminati John.’ In case you missed the last stunning article, ‘John’ claims to be a member of the Illuminati, but is no longer with the so called ‘Cabal’ faction. In the following interview, he reveals more about this puzzling and elusive society:
John: Happy Mother’s Day!
FLI: Happy Mother’s Day to you. I wasn’t sure I would be hearing back from you. To what do I owe this pleasure?
John: We’ve been watching and I think you’re ready for more to be revealed. How was church?
FLI: I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this. Why are you watching me? What do you want?
John: What I want is irrelevant. Just consider me a friend. If I wanted to destroy you, I would have already. How was church?
FLI: Um… ok… I guess…
John: You haven’t been in a awhile. Why did you go today?
FLI: uh… well, the wife wanted to go. It’s Mother’s day, so I went. Is that bad or something?
John: (laughter) Why would you think it’s a bad thing to go to church?
FLI: Well, aren’t you guys satanists?
John: (extended laughter) Not exactly. Let’s just say you don’t have a clue what satan really is. Don’t bother asking about that yet- you are CLEARLY not ready for THAT much truth. So your wife dragged you to church. How was it? What do you remember from it?
FLI: Um… It was good. Mostly about mothers. Did you go to church today?
John: No. Tell me about the something that stuck out in your mind though… a verse… a hymn… something.
FLI: There was this part of a song that stuck in my mind. He touched me and I was whole. Do you ever go to church?
John: Sometimes. It’s a never ending source of entertainment for me. I think I know the song you are talking about, but it’s intersting that part stuck out in your mind. How did you and your wife get along afterward?
FLI: Pretty well. We went out for a nice meal as a family and went to the park.
John: You are so getting laid tonight. Don’t blow it.
FLI: Why do you say that?
John: We’ll get to that. Are you familiar with memetics?
FLI: With what?
John: Memetics. Neurolinguistic Programming.
FLI: Sounds familiar. What about it?
John: Do some research on it later. What I am about to tell you is the most important thing you have ever heard in your life. All religion is Neurolinguistic Programming.
FLI: Ok. What does that mean and why is it so important?
John: It means you have been programmed. So has your wife. So has everyone you know. You are all programmed to respond certain ways to certain words and phrases. It is important because once you become aware of the programming and how it works, you will know just how much of a slave you really are. Then there will be hope for you. Do you have friends with a different religious affiliation than you? And some who are not religious at all?
FLI: Yes. I know some Muslims and this one guy- I think he’s Hindu. But most of my friends are not religious. At least not anymore.
John: Good. Then there’s definitely hope for you. Have you noticed that birds of a feather flock together? Have you noticed that while you get along with those ‘Muslim’ friends of yours, they tend to think more of each other than of you? Have you noticed they seem to be speaking a LANGUAGE with each other that you don’t understand? I mean you know the words, but not the meaning…
FLI: Yes. I’ve noticed that many times.
John: OK. Now you are a journalist, but there are other people working in your building- lawyers, dentists, I think there’s a chiropractor… Have you ever overheard them in a group together talking about things that just made no sense to you whatsoever?
FLI: Of course.
John: Were they speaking English?
John: Then why didn’t you understand them? You clearly speak English.
FLI: Because I didn’t… um… I just didn’t know what they were talking about. They were using jargon.
John: Exactly. They were utilizing meme complexes you are not familiar with. Does that make them smarter than you?
FLI: No. They just know about different things.
John: So I take it that if you chose to learn about what they do you would be able to speak their language better?
John: And if you were to talk about journalism stuff with your journalist friends, and the others didn’t understand you, does that make you smarter than they are?
John: You just have different functions.
John: You ARE different functions.
John: Nothing. Now back to church. What stood out to you was what? He touched me and I was whole? Was that w-h-o-l-e, or h-o-l-e?
John: Why did I have to ask you that?
FLI: Because they sound the same?
John: Exactly. Which witch is witch. I sent my mechanic a transmission. What does that mean to you?
FLI: You sent a message to your mechanic?
John: Are you sure? I may have sent him a car part.
FLI: Ok. What’s your point?
John: My point is, your wife received a Neurolinguistic message at church today commanding her to have her hole touched.
John: You heard me.
FLI: THAT’S SICK! That’s NOT what that song means!
John: Not to your conscious mind, no. And not to hers either. But trust me, she got the message. You better take care of business tonight or she will make you regret it.
FLI: You’re out of your mind! This is CHURCH we’re talking about here! There were CHILDREN there!
John: Am I? I’m not the one taking my kids to a place that talks about touching holes.
FLI: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? GET A GRIP!
John: If YOU don’t grasp what I am revealing to you, YOU will be the one NOT getting a grip tonight. From your wife.
FLI: Stop this. I don’t want to talk about this. We are supposed to be talking about the Illuminati and all you are wanting to talk about is my sex life.
John: I apologize for that. This is the only way to reveal to you what is really happening. You wanted to know more about Illumination, and I am only trying to help. First, you MUST understand how UNAWARE you are of all the sexual messages you are bombarded with all the time. You don’t catch them consciously, but your subconscious picks up on every one of them.
FLI: Ok. So you’re saying this song we sang in church had hidden subliminal messages?
John: Everything in church has hidden subliminal messages. That whole book they have you read is nothing but complex memes ordered by name and number. For instance- tell me how your emotional state changes when I say the following: John 3:16.
FLI: um… I suddenly feel humble and quiet.
John: Now go look that one up and you will see why. The whole religion you have been raised on is designed to control you. A big part of that is training women to be turned on by this ‘Jesus’ character.
FLI: Character? I thought he was our Lord and Savior
John: Have you ever met him?
FLI: No. Have you?
John: (laughter) Maybe. If I said I had, would you think I was crazy?
FLI: Maybe a little.
John: If I told you he speaks to me, what would you think?
FLI: That you were trying to scam me.
John: So you must think the Pope is the biggest scam artist on the planet then. Anyway, you’ve never met this guy. He is, from your perspective, a figment of your imagination. He is a figment of millions of people’s imaginations. And yet he still has some sort of mystical power over tham all?
FLI: Yes. It seems that way.
John: Exactly. At this point, it doesn’t even matter if he’s real or not. Or if he ever was. Or if the story you’ve heard is even true. What if I told you his real name was Joshua Bin Joseph?
FLI: I think I’ve heard that before. Why do we call him Jesus Christ then?
John: Because during the Spanish Inquisition, it was decided his name was too holy to be spoken by ‘commoners.’ They also changed ‘Yahweh’ to Jehovah. Did you know there is no ‘J’ in Hebrew?
FLI: No. What does that have to do with anything?
John: How could a Hebrew’s name be ‘Jesus’ if there is no ‘J’ in that language?
FLI: How could it be Joshua?
John: (laughter) You’re catching on pretty quick. The ‘Y’ in Hebrew has a slight ‘G’ sound at the beginning of it, making a ‘J’ sound. It’s ‘Yashua,’ really. Anyway, what I am really getting at here is that when you go to church with your wife, she is unwittingly being programmed to have the hots for Jesus, and she will then train YOU to act like him.
FLI: That sounds pretty… um… are you high?
John: You might say that. Just let that sink in. I’ll be in touch.