Awesome Time Wasters

Post 9-11 Security Hype Finally Prevents Something Horrifying… Math

Written by Will Walker

An American Airlines flight was delayed taking off because a passenger mistook math equations for some sort of terrorist plot involving the airplane. The plane was almost going to take off before a concerned passenger passed a note to a stewardess regarding the questionable scribblings.


Guido Menzio, an economics professor at the University of Pennsylvania, was on the way to Canada to give a talk at the Queen’s University in Ontario.


While waiting for takeoff he entertained himself by working on a differential equation, because that is apparently what mathematicians do.

They don’t play Angry Birds on their smart phone, they solve complex math equations that might be mistaken for a foreign language by the average individual.


Quick thinking by a vigilant citizen prevented this math equation from being solved. Confusing the unusual symbols with Arabic, an eagle eyed woman alerted the flight crew to the imminent grave danger which the plane and passengers were in.

No terrorist has ever been caught by the TSA, particularly the 19 Saudi Arabians who allegedly crashed 4 planes way back in 2001, so it’s about time for all those gropings to pay off. The woman later claimed to be ill and was deplaned.


Spokesperson for American Airlines, Casey Norton said the crew was merely following procedure and helping an ill passenger, however the woman was so concerned with possible terrorists activity that she chose to remain anonymous.

She later boarded another flight, undoubtedly after watching the plane take off hoping it would explode like in the move ‘Final Destination.’ Meanwhile the identity of the economics professor will forever be linked to this valiant prevention of problem solving.

The real threat to freedom is NOT 3rd world citizens strapped with bombs boarding airplanes with the intent of crashing them into the skyscrapers, but rather our own reliance on a system which tells us who and what to fear on one hand, and offers us protection on the other.


About the author

Will Walker

Fighting the powers that were, one revelation at a time. I am Will. I write articles that change the world. We are tearing down the matrix of domination and control to build a brave new world of free thinkers and deep lovers. Join us! Or don't... It's up to you, but we'd hate to see you miss out on 'Heaven on Earth'