As urban legends continue to keep swirling with regards to the ingredients in McDonald’s popular McNuggets, a recent investigation conducted by the CSIRO has reported that nobody really cares what’s in them as they taste like the popular and addictive narcotic drug, heroin.
While the multinational dealer of fine foods remains tight-lipped as to what’s truly in the freeze-fried delights, McDonald’s has promised FLI that there’s no heroin or any other drugs in them.
“There’s nothing sinister or illegal in McNuggets, that’s one thing we can confirm,” stated McDonald’s executive vice president Alisha Pie.
“But we do maintain a protection over the ingredients as it’s the secret to their success,”
“However, we are aware of the rumours that exist regarding how they made and what’s in them. We make our nuggets in Australia from natural ingredients, or at least I think we do. Some might’ve been dropped on the floor, I can’t say for sure. But yeah, they won’t kill you or get you stoned.”
Hitting back at the feedback made by McDonald’s is one local McNuggets consumer, who stated she can’t go longer than a day or two without the chicken without battling withdrawal symptoms.
Tina Jenkins, a marginally employed textile specialist at Spotlight, informed our reporters that if she doesn’t get her nuggets, she goes ‘mad.’
“No nuggets equals me waiting outside the North Betoota McDonald’s with a rock, telling people I’ll throw it at their car if they don’t buy me a ten-pack,” stated Jenkins.
“They must have something in them, I can’t fucking function without them,”
“They’re like heroin to me.”
Got a tip or a rumor? Contact me here.
The Establishment continue to push forward in their attempt to shut down the alternative press that is rapidly growing and pushing out the faltering mainstream media. As the EU demands social media sites censor fake news and Reddit, Facebook and other sites begin blocking Fusion Laced Illusions and other alternative media it is now alarmingly evident that their truly is a war on free speech.
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